Writer’s Campaign Challenge ~ Not Yet

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I had posted about this last week, this is the platform-building campaign to help social network writers. There are a lot of people participating in this. This first challenge has the following rules:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

There are additional challenges like making it exactly 200 words and using “…the door swung shut.” as the last words. I met each of these challenges.

 

Not Yet

The door swung open fueled by my fears, slammed back against the whitewashed wall. He stood there, just on the other side. A figured robed in light, peered down his Roman nose at me. I fell to my knees. My mouth spilled a million excuses but he never spoke. Dark gaze flicked past me, I turned to see. The bed, the doctors, the limp hand splashing red drops. I wanted to go to him, rush through the door, but he shook his head. “It’s not your time. Not yet.” His lips never moved, the sound in my head. I cried, I wanted to go, to see what lay beyond. I begged, on my knees but he never came forward. Slowly silence was invaded with rushed sounds, harsh ringings, desperate urging voices. He took a step back, another and another. The tears dried. I got up, walked to the table. My face was a mash of blood and pulp and still the doctors worked. I lay down, closed my eyes, felt prickling as I sank back into my skin. Harsh ringing turned to steady beats. I opened my eyes, my true eyes, looking up at the harsh lights and the door swung shut.

30 responses »

  1. You sure nailed that one, didn’t you? 🙂 I’ve only done one flash fiction challenge, and that was prompted by Kait Nolan on her blog. It’s kind of fun, but a huge challenge. You’re good at this.

    • My problem is that I’m a little too good with them. The writing may lack a bit but it’s easy to come up with a short story like that. I wrote another one today that’s 900 words and coming out next Monday for Dice Games. I need to get better at writing long ficiton. I tend to peter out around 13k words when working on my novels.

      Thanks for the read! I always appreciate your words.

      • Novels are SO hard for me. That’s why I write so many novellas. But when I finish the last novella in the Libby Fox series, I’m going to concentrate on a full length novel. Out of my eight published works, only three are novels.

  2. I am so intrigued! I had to read it twice to understand exactly what happened, but it’s taught me not to read so fast. 🙂

  3. Nice! Very tight. The experience and confidence of doing flash fiction shows. I’m a pantser too (see, secret hand shake!) but I’m terrible at short pieces. I like pantsing right through 75K books. I think I live on the corner of glutton and punishment. Nice to meet you!

    • Yay special handshakes! I wish I could pants to 75k! I peter out about 13k before my pantsing gets me in trouble and I get lost. Nice to meet you too!

  4. There are some wonderful descriptions here, Crystal, and I love how there’s a sense of loss that pervades it. Lovely work!

  5. What great emotion conveyed! “….mouth poured a million excuses..but he never spoke…” Just fabulous, C.M. So glad I stopped by! I had the outlandish avacado’s comment at my blog page – but hadn’t connected to you. Didn’t you participate in ROW80? I’ve noticed that fellow ROW goodreads friends have added your novel (which finally clicked my brain on, making me realize that I had seen your name before)…I’ll have to check it out. Send me a friend request! ~ Nadja

    • yes, I’m participating in ROW80 this round, it’s my first time. I’m glad you enjoyed the piece. I’m working on getting all my social networking things in line.

  6. Very rich depiction of a near-death experience, at first I thought the character was confessing in a church, then that someone else had died important to her, and finally realized it was she who was near death. The progression served the experience well, I think.

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