A Well Respected Gentleman – Flash Fiction

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Here is another bit of Flash Fiction. While the rules this time allowed for up to 1500 words, I kept this under 500. Though this was posted August 8th and set for a one week time limit (and I am late again.) I went ahead with the prompt anyway since it seems they’re also late and the new weeks prompt isn’t up yet.

 

A Well Respected Gentleman

By C.M. Cipriani

Ruphert Charlesdale Taloo Eldecott Grossbender Moneymunger the third, well known in social and political circles as Mungsy to his esteemed friends, prided himself with his ability to learn a variety of topics which leant toward a charming disposition and the uncanny ability to blend seamlessly into said various circles. Not only was he a fabulous dresser, frequently known to set trends lasting up to three full weeks, his home was equally impressive with the finest silks and brocades brought over from such exotic places as China and France and Taiwan. Mungsy never had a hair out of place nor would a solitary blond hair he possesed even suggest itself to such undecorous circumstances. Which made it quite easy to maintain the vissage of a consistently proper gentleman such as himself.

For to be sure, if one could not even manage obedience over ones own self how could one be expected to lead his fellows and the lower classes? Simply put, he could not.

But it was on this particularly dreary day in May that Mungsy found himself quite out of sorts with a particularly horrendous case of bed head. No matter what punishments, brandishments or bribes he contrived the affected swoop of hair just would not obey and curved his ear quite unbecomingly. He briefly considered snipping off the offender but the resulting out growth would surely be most off putting. It was bad enough his nose wasn’t put on quite straight, but one worked with what one had, crooked noses aside.

After nearly two hours and the combined assistance of his butler, Beezly, acting as coiffer -a position the man greatly despised- Ruphert et. al the third, realized he was late for his ambassatorial meeting with his fellow dignitaries of state. Therefore, he sent ’round cards to each of the representatives with long flowing script in delightfully wordy phrases calling on all his learned abilites filling no less than two full pages each telling them, in shortened terms, he was not feeling quite the thing.

Sure that Lady Penningsly Apron Balerdash, with her red stringy hair and round rouge splotches on her cheeks, would be most offended for their regular tea was something she most looked forward to. Though her biscuits were always the same and also quite plasticy and her tea never did seem to quench a parched throat, one might hedge to say it was nearly non-existent. The tea set, on the other hand, was quite a lovely China, handpainted by their monarch, Sally, even if her nasty little brother, Billy had broken the delicate biscuit tray last week. He was always running amok. It was a relief of the senses he was delt the blow of a stern and fitting time-out.  

Mungsy gave one last scathing look to the perpertrating lock, doffed his apparel and resigned himself, a good book and a torch for a full day in bed. For if one wasn’t able to meet obligatory needs, there was no reason to waste the day away with idle nonsense.

And that is just what he did.

“Day 164: Cozied Up” by Snugg LePup (Flickr)

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5 responses »

    • I think the bear at the end really changes the perspective of the story. I tried to add in nuances that this wasn’t a traditional situation but didn’t want to give the story away.

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