fighting uncertainty


There is one thing that I will confess to that has aided the devil in my brain who whispers sweetly to me “You’re not good enough.” Which is the lack of formal education. Reading the bio’s of many poupular authors I have come to the conclusion that they collect degrees like trading cards…or so it seems. At least to me and the devil in my head.

THIS is why I’ll never be published. THAT is why I will never write anything good enough. There is a very long list of reasons silently whispered to me as my fingers dance along keys telling me to give up, to stop. To do anything else besides this to which I am enamoured because it will just never be. And I will die a humiliating death if I ever share it with anyone that doesn’t love me, or at least like me a lot.

I have just finished half my credits towards an AA. I have educated myself in things that appeal to me. I research what I don’t know. But I still feel that isn’t enough.

Are these bio’s written to impress? To make lowly, regular people without years of collegiate experience feel as though they’d never qualify for the term Author? That degree-lacking writers need not apply?

I realize that this may be a form of my own internal self-doubt. But once, just one time, I’d like to read a bio that goes something like this.

X dropped out of highschool and got her GED, spent the next handfull of years as an underpaid secretary before leaving that to birth a half dozen or so babies. She spent a decade trapped in her house constantly starting and never finishing a novel while changing copious amounts of diapers and trying (and failing) to start a farm. X has over fourteen unfinished novels under her belt and hopes to hell you won’t slam the one that she finally got the balls to finish.

Huh, that sounds a lot like it could be mine…


4 responses »

  1. I only have an Associate Degree. Sometimes life teaches you a lot more than what you would learn in school. I know I learned a lot more that way! LOL

    Don’t ever tell yourself you’re not good enough. Just write and write. You get better and better. Honestly, I’m not even interested in being published by a big name publishing house. I love the world of indie publishing! And, no, that’s not sour grapes. It’s the truth. But if your dream is to be picked up by a publisher, then go for it. Just keep writing!

    • Yes, I have definately learned more about certain things outside of institutionalized education. Though, where I feel I lack is in structure and form. I am perhaps not as well versed as others in the proper context of words, punctuation, paragraph structure, those types of things. Thankfully, all that can be learned! I’ve noticed a large trend in my personal reading vetures, that perhaps much more formal structuring is becoming less important as the cadance of writing (at least in fiction) is more important than proper period placement for example. From what I’ve read of Margie Lawson’s deep editing of published authors the cadance outweights formality.

      Does that make any sense? I need more coffee…

      • I think you’re right about formal structuring being less important. If there are really glaring, unnecessary problems with punctuation and grammar, it bugs me. But, I’ve been known to put a comma or two in places they really shouldn’t be to emphasize something. LOL. I know other authors that do that. But punctuation and grammar can be fixed by letting other people read your work and comment on it. If you’re not good at proofreading, maybe you know someone who is. If you can’t afford to pay someone to do that, at least let someone read it that knows grammar and punctuation. It’s really hard to do all the editing on your own work. There is an author I proofread for, and his spelling, grammar, and punctuation is terrible! But he tells a good story. So he has me to help him with other things. :0)

      • I recently read one Brit author that ended about 60% of sentences in exclaimation points. It irked me to no end, I counted 6 once in an 8 sentence paragraph. I try and be gentle when I review books I read for pleasure but that just drove. me. nuts. (see the period use there 🙂

        I, personally, think I am more interested in going an Indie route for publication where degrees and the like will be less important. I will, after going through some self-editing classes, try and find a professional friend to do an edit for me but I think learning how to self-edit is extremely important.

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